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The EM Effect

Guest Written By ElKapitan

Chapter One

Los Angeles, USA

    The film and television industry had grown weary of the Cappers constantly riffing their work, and were threatening to go on strike. With the prospect of having to cap nothing but reruns over and over, the Cappers sent a team of four to persuade them not to go on strike. The four Cappers set up a meeting with representatives from the film and television industry at the Los Angeles Convention Center. The discussions did not start out well, and JurassicPork was giving the Cappers back in Anywhere an update.

    "Can't you send me more Cappers? The four of us can't seem to get through to these scum sucking bozos."

    "Sorry Jurassic," replied Porpoise over the video screen, "we've got too many Cappers away on other assignments right now. We can't leave Anywhere completely void of Cappers."

    "I understa- what the?" said JurassicPork as a strange electrical buzzing noise filled the room.

    Suddenly, all of the electronic devices in the room began to short circuit. Communication between JurassicPork and Porpoise was cut off as blue sparks jumped off of all the electrical equipment in the room. The entire City of Los Angeles was left with a full blown power outage as the electrical buzzing noise subsided. The four Cappers found themselves in the dark.

    "Crap. I forget, do any of you have night vision?" asked The Lurker.

    "I have night vision!" exclaimed Shanky as he walked into a wall. "D'oh! On second thought, no I don't."

    LauraPowers laughed, "You're so silly Shanky. Hey, I think I see flashlights out in the hall!"

    The door to the room opened, and two persons holding flashlights entered. They were also wearing ski masks and holding funny looking guns.

    "You're coming with us," one of them said bluntly as they shot JurassicPork and Shanky with tranquilizer darts.

    As they reloaded their funny looking guns, LauraPowers rushed toward them, "Say hello to my patented crotch kick!" but she was tranquilized before she could get to the ski masked figures.

    Finally, they tranquilized The Lurker and took the four Cappers away in a black helicopter.

The Capper House, Anywhere, USA

    Several Cappers gathered in the Capper Conference Room after Porpoise signaled an emergency meeting.

    "I was talking with Jurassic when all of the sudden I heard a strange noise, then I saw a couple of blue flashes on the video screen before it went completely blank and the obligatory 'This isn't very interesting without graphics' message popped up. If I had been watching a baseball game, I'd be pretty ticked off right now."

    "It could just be a simple power outage, or a disruption in the satellite link," suggested MeQal.

    GlitterRock disagreed, "No, I've got a strange feeling that something is amiss out in La La Land."

    "Everyone knows we're trying to stop that strike from happening," ElKapitan added. "It's been reported in the media nonstop for the past couple of weeks."

    "It's possible that someone from inside the film and television industry is trying stop our team from succeeding," remarked Tinaw.

    "It could easily be someone from outside the industry also," mentioned Scypha.

    The Gray Zombie leaned back into his chair, "If anyone is trying to sabotage the negotiations, I'm sure Jurassic can handle it. That's why we sent him to lead the negotiations. He takes crap from nobody. How about this- we'll try to regain contact with our team and if we don't hear anything from them within the next few hours, we'll-"

    Before Gray could finish, Batqueen rushed into the room, "We just got an urgent message from the White House. The President is requesting a private talk with Gray."

The Gray Zombie's Office

    The Gray Zombie sat down at his desk and turned on his video screen, "Good afternoon, President Hudson. Ask not what your country can do you for, ask what you can do your country for."

    "Rrright," said President Hudson. "It's good to speak with you again Mr. Gray Zombie. Unfortunately, I have some troubling news. It seems as though the country, and the world for that matter, needs the Cappers' help once again. The situation could get desperate quickly."

The Capper Conference Room

    The seven Cappers in the room sat back down and became quiet as The Gray Zombie walked back in, "According to the President, Los Angeles was attacked with a top secret EMP weapon that was stolen from the military."

    "E-M-P?" asked MeQal.

    "ElectroMagnetic Pulse," answered ElKapitan. "This sounds like it could be an extremely powerful weapon. One that could be used to render any and all electronic devices inoperable. It would definitely give our military a big advantage."

    "Or," argued Scypha, "give someone else a big advantage against us and our electrically dependent society."

    Tinaw agreed, "This new weapon has already found its way into the wrong hands."

    The Gray Zombie knew that time was precious, "We can debate about this later. What is important now is that we find whoever has this weapon and stop them from using it again, which is not going to be easy. The weapon itself is attached to a satellite in low Earth orbit. Whoever has control of it is controlling it via a satellite link from the surface. The President told me that his latest intelligence reports pointed to a signal coming from somewhere in the Rocky Mountains, but the mountains made it impossible to pinpoint the exact location. We'll have to take the Capper Jet over the Rockies and see what we can find."

    "What about our team in LA?" inquired GlitterRock.

    "I haven't forgotten about them," answered Gray. "Five of us will head out to LA first to see what kind of damage this weapon can do and to pick up Jurassic and the others. Glitter, you'll have the Con. Porpoise and MeQal can stay behind also to help run the Capper House and protect Anywhere."

    GlitterRock nodded, "You can count on this cat to hold the fort while you're gone, Gray. I'll make sure Jason does his homework and doesn't go on another one of his killing sprees. Good luck out there."

    "I can make sure nothing happens to the beer," chimed in MeQal.

    "Yeah, and I'll make sure MeQal doesn't drink all the beer," said Porpoise.

    Gray nodded back, "Be sure to tell Charisma that I'm off on a dangerous mission if she asks where I am. You know how she gets when I don't tell her what I'm doing. She's cute when she's angry at me."

    The three Cappers laughed as they left to go to the Capper Control Room. Gray turned his attention to the four remaining Cappers.

    "ElKap, you're the best pilot here. You can prep the Capper Jet for takeoff. Batqueen and Scypha, I want you two to scrounge up as many walkie-talkies as you can. Tinaw, you can help me put together a box of doughnuts. We're going to the Los Angeles Police Department."

To be continued...

(Gray and the others arrive in Los Angeles only to find that their colleagues have been kidnapped.)


Table of Contents

Part Two

Part Three  

Part Four